Four Years in Review

"You go to high school not to find who you will marry, but to find your bridesmaids and groomsmen."

Two days ago, I graduated from High School. Those four years have, so far, been quite an adventure for me. I've aced and (sadly) failed many a quiz and pulled off many a late night working on lab reports, projects, and others. Unfortunately, I'm not really as photogenic as the girl in this picture when I have spent all night studying. My eye bags would have sagged already and I would have looked pretty much like a zombie.
 



As I sat in the auditorium and saw everyone else in their togas just like me, I looked back to four years ago when we were doing exactly the same thing, only we were graduating from elementary school. In fact, I was also sitting next to the same person because we were arranged in alphabetical order according to surname.

With a fiery passion, I said to myself that I will get the honors come high school as I listened to the speeches of the top students back then. Once again, I didn't get the honor awards. At this point, I'm starting to feel that I'm already transforming from a passionate young lady with big dreams to a jaded adult who has an apathetic, come-what-may attitude a little too fast. I have to admit that I was quite frustrated to not get what I wanted no matter how hard I worked. I was thinking at some point that I will just end up with a shitty life filled with nothing but mediocrity. If I do pretend to be happy to just be, I'm just cheating myself in the end anyway. I felt like I did not make any marks at all as I left the portals of my school. I know, all these things are very negative, but someday, in college, I will get those honors. Yup, here I go again. But I guess there's nothing wrong with having dreams, right? Well, since aspirations are free, then why not get it all? The best deal for free things is to get them all.

As the program went on, the names of all 359 of us were called on stage so that we could receive our diplomas and medals. I looked at my diploma, and then, I realized that soon, I will face the real world. Now simply isn't the time to think of how I failed to get what I wanted. Now really isn't the time to wallow in regret. At least I passed with above-average grades and more than anything, I'm just happy to get out of high school already. I did my best to shake my thoughts of cynicism off my head and to count my blessings instead. I looked back again, but this time, to a closer day. That was exactly two weeks ago (as of the day I'm typing this) when for the last time, all 359 of us gathered in the same auditorium for a recollection where the main theme was about counting blessings and changing perspectives.

Pretty much what everyone was doing.

Everyone around me started to cry and smear their makeup as the poignant graduation song that my friend composed started to play. My school held a songwriting contest, and the winning song will be played on graduation day. I also tried out, but my song wasn't picked. Besides, I wrote an upbeat rock song... something people will mosh to. The song my friend wrote is a slow song that can almost instantly drive the sentimental to tears. I really don't think that a fast rock song would be appropriate for such a solemn occasion, although deep inside, I think it would be awesome to see everyone moshing instead of crying.

"'Cause we made our mark,
And we made our stand,
We've gone so far,
But we're nowhere near the end...
We fought our way with tears and pride
And had the time of our lives
We found love and victory
So great for everyone to see..."
(c) Manami Salud

So far, those four years have been filled with many depressing and blissful times spent with friends, teachers, books, and the internet. Not to mention, my handy dandy notebook with a calendar in the back cover where I counted down the days to go before I leave high school. In a way, graduation is like death. This is where all the fruits of hard work will be reaped and students will be recognized in accordance to what they have done to contribute to the improvement of everybody's learning experiences not only in academics but also of values that will be needed in the real world. This is where we say our goodbyes to each other as we reach greater heights. The only difference seems to be, that (almost) everyone cries not because of someone's loss but because of the goodbyes that still couldn't sink in to most of us.

"It all went by too fast,
The sands just dropped through that hourglass...
I wish I can make it last
but everything must come to pass..."

We have got to move on; face what is right ahead [because] those times behind are too far gone. Let's take these memories with us, all the times that we had, either the good or the bad, and lay this chapter to rest.

That's four years in review of what has been one of the biggest adventures in my life: high school. I was that 4'10 (and I still am but hopefully I get taller) girl with mid-length black hair who jogs every morning around school whilst listening to Avenged Sevenfold/Green Day/My Chemical Romance at full volume (and I will still continue listening to them because they rock). I was also that misfit but I'm proud of it. It's not that I'm actually outcast. Sure, some people might mistake me for an emo, but I'm not an emu! In fact, I actually have many friends. It's just that I have different taste. I'm not really a trend-stickler. I pave my own path and will continue to do so. Yup, the quote before this is part of the song I wrote.