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| Why must you kill me so? |
Anyway, I just put a picture of Synyster Gates here because I feel like it. (and I think I'm getting a bit distracted from writing now...) Moving on to what this post is REALLY about, I've been a very busy student lately. Being in the senior year of high school, I decided to make up for the years I've wasted in the past- just sitting around and doing nothing. Back then, I was too shy to break out of my comfort zone. I did not sign up for much co-curricular activities besides a club which I am required to join. That's it. I did not even consider trying out for student leadership or stuff like that.
One day, I was unexpectedly pulled out for a few minutes from economics class for an assignment that is very, very important. I was assigned to be a scriptwriter for a school advertisement, but in an unconventional way. It was for this organization I joined with a goal of helping the less fortunate be able to study through fundraising campaigns such as this promo video. I was honored to be entrusted with such a responsibility. And to think that I was a troubled kid back in elementary school. Yep, I was pushed around, and I got in trouble whenever I stood up for myself. I admit that I was responsible for having wasted my life and having let them affect me, but it is this year when I was inspired to change all that. (And yes, music played a huge part in inspiring me. Not to mention that most of the bands I like have at least one physically attractive member in them. But I listen to them for the music, not the looks. If I want to ogle at the beauty of at least one of the band members, I can always look at pictures of them.)
With my friend who also wrote for the school paper, we met up every lunch break with an alumnus from the school who was assigned to direct the video. Every day, we discussed the script and how it should be written. At home, I edited the pre-written draft of the intended plot for the video, but I must have made it too wordy and too descriptive, much like the way that novels are usually written. I've been critiqued for that, so I was challenged to write something shorter and more abstract. It was time to expand my repertoire. It was time for me to break out of my comfort zone.
Aside from that, I also signed up for the school chorale. I've always wanted to be a rock star someday and perhaps this can be my stepping stone. Signing up meant that I had to rehearse after classes and during lunch breaks when the alumnus I have to meet up with for the scriptwriting thingy isn't in school. I was determined to re-learn my voice lessons after having given up on my voice when I was a kid. I need to stop letting discouragement get the better of me. I also had troubles with my self-esteem because of my short stature. I always was the shortest in class and the shortest in my circle of friends. I was also the shortest among my cousins who are my age. But I intentionally joined this club to purge myself of that negative thinking whenever there is a formation. That's because, in formation, short girls and guys like me always have to be in front, closest to the audience. Sure, I may still be very bitter and hateful about the things I have been deprived of such as height, but I'm still in the process of ridding myself of that attitude.
And self-motivated reasons aside, I signed up for the school paper, the fundraising organization, and the school chorale to make myself useful to the school and to at least show my gratefulness for the fact that I've been taught here not just to learn but to learn with the heart, the mind, and the soul. Sure, I may have been a trouble making ne'er-do-well with wasted intelligence back in the day, but I'm also doing this in order to give myself a sense of purpose. The earth does not revolve around me anyway. The earth is heliocentric, not Tanyacentric, so why do I need to focus my life on just myself and my selfish desires? It's time that I change the way I have lived in the past and just enjoy my last year in high school.
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| I took this part of a screenshot of my Twitter timeline on 7-7-11. |
This, therefore, is a symbol of the power of unity even among the underdogs. The Beliebers far outnumber Avenged Sevenfold fans. For several days before 7-7-11, Justin Bieber'' and any trending topic with Justin or Bieber in them were occupying several spots in the list of trending topics. Yet, we were still able to push far enough and make Syn a trending topic on his day even if his name only appears once in the list of TTs. And (hopefully), we will do the same with M. Shadows.
If there is someone I personally know who is reading this blog post, it is time to be motivated and to, just like me, be able to make up for the wasted years getting stuck in the vicious cycle of defeat. For three consecutive years, my school's Class of '12 has lost the much-anticipated cheering competition, just leaving everyone with dampened spirits and cynical philosophies especially in junior year. And if any of you reading this are actually part of this Class of '12, otherwise known as the Senio12s, just remember what I wrote, that even if we are outnumbered, with enough unity, we can do anything. We can arise, believe, and conquer.
To wrap up this blog post, perhaps I can already consider this as my (very) belated birthday tribute to Synyster Gates for being a part of my inspirations for me to keep doing what I am doing. My original post was supposed to be a collection of 30 pictures of him, but it's awkward to bombard myself with pictures of some attractive guy I will never have, especially if my computer is in the living room when I told mom and dad that I'm doing my homework. I can never explain it to them if they caught me staring at any one picture for too long. There's absolutely no way to cover for that.